(Ir)Relevent, Perhaps Irrevent, Facts
When I finished the first complete writing of my first novel, The Beautiful, Winged Madness, I was living in a tiny room in the YMCA in Glendale, CA. I had only 70 cents to my name. A company I worked with as an Art Director had closed and I had not being able to find employment and was evicted from my apartment. But instead of feeling the despair one might in such a dire situation, I felt elated that I had completed the novel that I had worked on for over a year. Two days later, still at the Y, I began writing its sequel.
I did later procure employment and continued over the years to write eight books and counting.
That experience helped me to understand that inner contentment depends little on external circumstances.
How many selves does a person have? The number may be infinite. A self is like a partial person within the person. It has a purpose, emotions, and accumulated thoughts and ideas. It is created at a critical time when a person makes a decision, and creates a purpose, that alters one's life. I have explored, at present, sixteen selves. I gave them names like the Disturbed Child, the Natural Child, the Crazy Mother, the Perfect Mother, the Spirit Father (God Self), the Counter Self (the self removed from God), the Angel Self, the Aesthetic Self, and the Wise Old Philosopher Self. Some selves appear to be carried through lifetimes like the Wise Old Philosopher self. Some selves are totally positive, some a mixture of positive and negative, and occasionally one is absolutely destructive, such as the psychopathic Devil Self which was one of the most difficult selves to confront and resolve.
Selves are a lot like people--they want to survive and grow. Some selves may seem insane, like an alcoholic self, but they actually are not. They are simply attempting to do their purpose, which is a sane pursuit. If, when one is a child, a self is created to appear extremely monstrous so it protects the person by keeping others (threats) away, then it will continually try to be monstrous. But is it insane to do everything possible to achieve the purpose for which one is created? To do otherwise, to a self, is to die. A way to resolve an addiction self is to contact and communicate with the self and persuade it, through reward, to change its purpose to one more positive. Then it will stop turning on cravings and trying to compel the person to use the addictive drug.
Some selves, like the Angel Self, the Aesthetic Self, the Perfect Mother, and the Spirit Father Self, are extraordinarily beautiful and good. These offer profound hope.
I am planning to write and publish a book about my exploration of selves, which I call My Process. Exploring selves can be a valuable tool to expanding one's understanding of oneself, humans, the mind, and spirit. All of us carry a wealth of selves every moment of our lives and, considering that the spirit is an eternal being, those moments are infinite.
If you do not believe the spirit is eternal and immortal, get into communication with your Spirit Self and listen.
A Higher Process
I have currently completed eight books, but only while writing two of them did I experience a fantastic and strange process. They are the novel The Beautiful, Winged Madness and the spiritual philosophy book, GodSpirit, a Book of Being. It seemed that something greater and higher than myself wrote those books through me for a higher purpose.
With The Beautiful, Winged Madness (BWM) I would receive as a strong thought in my mind a scene or situation that I then put into words and detail. I might not be given the reason for the addition. Sometimes I realized the reason immediately and sometimes I discovered it later when I was given another scene. An example is a scene in the cemetery gift shop. Suddenly I was instructed to add a girl about ten years old with whom Anna creates a strong rapport. I assumed the purpose was to show that Anna responded well to children and would be a good mother. I did not expect the girl, Sage, to appear again. But later in the story I was told to bring Sage back to perform a function critical to the ending and resolution of the novel.
This higher process gave me the novel's primary storyline and content and I provided the words and expression. I did not have any idea how the story would conclude until I reached the ending and it was given. I did add some elements to the story that I believe were from me but many of them I later removed.
One reason that I am presenting this now is that when I wrote the novel I promised the Spiritual Universe that I would present to others the process used in creating it.
The purpose of writing GodSpirit, A Book of Being, was to present basic spiritual concepts, principles, and information that offer direction and would help answer primary spiritual questions such as: What is spirit? What is the purpose of life? How was the universe created? I realized immediately that I was to employ a unique process to obtain the information. I would pose a question to (what I considered) the Spiritual Universe and then wait for an answer. In every case an answer came, like a very clear thought in my mind. Then I checked the answer by repeatedly testing it against life. I learned that a correct spiritual principle could always be seen operating in life or the world. If the answer held up, I included the information in the book. If it did not, I asked the question again and waited for a clarification or a different answer which I then tested.
I worked on this book for over six years between writing novels and am planning on publishing it. I will present it as an interpretation of spirit, the universe, and life and not as truth since each person must determine truth for himself.
This experience of something higher or greater working through someone may be familiar to artists and spiritual seekers. It is difficult to identify with certainty the source of the given information. I think it is either the higher part of oneself--one's spirit--operating or it is coming from greater, higher spirit, which is what I believe. The receiver is chosen for a particular purpose and because he can get the job done.
The fact that I have had this experience with only two of my eight books to me supports that the process is real. If I was imagining it, I would probably say that I wrote all my books that way because it would sound good.
I am currently writing a new, spiritual novel, tentatively titled SpiritMan, and that process appears to be occuring again. Whatever it is, it is a higher, transcendent experience, rare and valuable, and one should just trust it and go with it.
P. Pennington Douros